Here I Am!

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.... So here I am.  Another ending to a typical Monday night for me...  And I have a blog!  I have no idea what to do with it, so I'll just go for it.

My 2008-2011 Journal

How did this all start?  Quite simply, it started last night, January 9, 2011, with just another random entry in my journal.  The journal was a resolution that started back in 2008, a mere idea to track little things in my life like I did when I was a child.  This same notebook  has lasted through 2009 and 2010 taking me head first into 2011.  I titled it "Resolutions, Successes & Failures" and have been keeping track of all the little things in my life.  Nothing too impressive if I must admit it to myself, but all in all a guideline to record the things that matter to me most at this stage in life: weight, quitting smoking, health & general nutrition, boyfriends, ex-boyfriends, friends, family, anything that gets in to my head and I want to set it free by getting it down on paper, and last but most importantly... my son and how he has changed my life for the better.  There I was, on the sofa, listening to some piano music on CD and writing in my journal.  (I have added some things in parenthesis as I typed in the journal entry from last night.)  It went something like this....
So here I am with some time to write.  Where am I in my life (The age-old question that has plagued me for years)???  I have a career and work with really great people.  Speaking of... I'm on call and have to go find my phone... Got it!
I've been trying to figure out for years what my passion is - it makes sense to me that we all have a certain "thing" or "passion" that just comes naturally to us.  It is this individual trait that makes us unique.  It is this trait that we can offer to the world.  It is this trait that provides our way in life, another extension of our identity and our mark on society.  I realize that not all traits will bring us wealth and great fortune in terms of money, but our wealth and great fortune may come in other measures depending on what our gift is that we can share with the world.
So what is my gift?  There is the one thing I ALWAYS think of: WRITING, because I have always done it one way or another.  It is also what those that are closest to me agree is my forte.  But how do I take it to the level to share it with the world?  If my life passion is meant to be writing, than what is the medium that allows me to get it out there and into the world?  Should I write a book?  It just doesn't seem like a book should be my medium right now.  It becomes a struggle deciding what to write about, and fiction doesn't seem to be something that comes easy to me.  This special trait should be second nature to us all, right?  Not something I have to conjure up over months and months of hashing ideas.  I think it should just f...l...o...w.  The realities in my mind are the easiest for me (well that would make sense).  Interpreting the effect of someone else’s work on myself maybe??  It just seems so college book report, not anything of major interest.
I know that I love when I read or watch something and it calls to my soul - I like to write that down and express how it makes me feel.  Get all those thoughts and emotions that an outside circumstance rises up inside of me and write it down on a piece of paper.
How is this relevant to the world?  With the millions of blogs and tons of millions of information out there, how is my interpretation of things going to make its mark on the world?  Do I start a blog?  And then just see what happens?  And then what do I call it?  "So & So's take on the world ?"  Well, that just boring, but it is a start, right?
There it is, and here I am.
Cheers!