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Wednesday, January 12, 2011

"Things that make you go hmmmmm......"

Do you ever hear something go bump in the night and get all 'noided out?

I used to be youthful and fearless! I figured if the ax murderer came to get me in my sleep it was just my time to pass in this world. If he was going to kill me, he would kill me, nothing to stress over and keep myself from falling asleep!

Now I cannot watch scary movies at all. It happened somewhere after spending time solo in Indiana and going to see the first Blair Witch.  I then moved into a house that seemed like it was in the middle of the woods with a very dark basement that harbored strange noises.

I do not live in the woods in Indiana anymore, and I do not have a basement.  Yet if I hear the slightest noise when I am trying to fall asleep I think some disgusting zombie is slithering into my room to stand over me in my bed and eat my brains out.  I have to open my eyes really quick to make sure nothing is there staring at me. Surely I would smell a zombie and have some time to react, right? Or my dog would hear it and bark uncontrollably... unless poor Forest bears the brunt of the attack for the family.

 
 Maybe the difference is that I am in the role of protector and if said zombie creeps into my room I have to kick it into the bathroom, run out of my room, and throw my body into any oncoming danger to save my son. What if my son was the zombie, because this happens in every zombie movie, right? Would I be able to kick him aside and run? Or would I let him eat my brains?

And who in the hell came up with the zombie anyway? Are they made up?  Is there a legend of the zombie from historical times?  And why do they prefer brains? At least I think they did in the "Night of the Living Dead" when I was first introduced to them via VHS at some grammar school sleep over.

Sniff... Sniff... I smell a Google coming on!

Why in the hell do I think of this s@*+ when I am trying to fall asleep??

1 comment:

  1. The slithering slimy zombie in tattered clothes with eyeballs falling out his head is my fear as well. My stepdad let me watch the movie one night when I was a kid and I never got it out of my head. One of the worst scenes was when all the animals that were cut in half started barking and moving and meowing in the lab. Then the guys that inhaled the zombie making chemicals were dying and turning into zombies and in pain and that one guy stuck himself in the crematorium and burned himself alive. Auuugghhh! Now you have me all petrified and thinking of zombies while I try to do my A&P homework. So lets turn this around. If Thomas did become a zombie he would be a super zombie and turn on all the other zombies to protect you and Forest and using the Jedi Force we know he has inside of him. Oh in case you don't remember I watched Blair Witch Project in the living room of the house on the hill in Indiana with the basement and laid there all wide eyed in the living room watching the little window in the door and trying to dodge dog farts so I feel your pain. I think overall we would be much better off NOT watching scary movies. Our imagination is way too playful for our own good. And as we both know Real Life is scary enough as it is. Sleep peacefully and I will stay awake for the both us studying and battling demons of my own. Should you ever need back up though Hayden and Jacob know a thing or two about the Jedi Force and will come to our aid as well. Love you!

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