You don't bring me projects anymore.

It has been many long weeks closing out 2010 and bringing in 2011 at work.  It has also been a long hard journey downward for our industry in general and it isn't looking any better as the month tolls on...  During this time our boss, AKA Mr. Krabs (think spongebob), has been pretty much obsolete to our every day life.  This is the same man we confide in, look for advice from, and are in constant need of approval from for paperwork, forms, etc.  How we have missed him!  Every now and then I walk by his office and see his back (he is facing his computer) and his door is shut as to not suggest "Come in and talk with me!"  He is trying to cut out distractions so he can complete the various projects that have been put on his table.

Day after day I either view an empty office or the back of the man I once new and called my own Mr. Krabs!  Finally we couldn't take it anymore.  We started to bait him by leaving various chips or snacks on the conferance table in the middle of our office.  Slowly, but surely, he would advance from his office to grab said chip or snack and soon after the mass of peasants approached for conversation he would retreat back into his office to complete his spreadsheet of the day.  Our attempt to once again socialize Mr. Krabs had failed miserably.


Last week I decided a different approach.  When I grew up in the 80's I was a great fan of Barbara Streisand and Neil Diamond and the song they did together titled "You don't bring me flowers."  I am embedding a youtube of this song in this posting below so you can get familiar with the tune.  If you listen to it you can almost hear me singing in the background, off key, trying to keep up with Babs.... "Now after lovin' me late at nnnniiiiiggggghhhhhtttttttt!!!!!"  Ahhhhhhhhh, it's good stuff I tell you! 

Anyways, I decided to change the lyrics so it fit our work atmosphere and emailed it to Mr. Krabs (and the rest of the department) because I knew he was in his office facing his computer.  I put each one of us in the lyrics as the singer of that line, and used the entire department together for the Chorus.  I really wanted him to visualize what this would look like if we decided to enter the Karaoke contest at the family picnic.  Once I pressed send I ran to the window in his office door to watch him....  I saw the email notification pop up and distract him from his spreadsheet project.....  Then he clicked on it..... And then he read it.... the whole thing!  I think I saw tears in the man's eyes.... It went a little something like this......

Sarah: You don't bring me projects
You don't call for meetings

Francesca: You hardly talk to me anymore
When I come through the door
At the start of the day

Sarah: I remember when
You couldn't wait to blame me
Used to hate to praise me
Now after leavin’ work late at night

Francesca: When it's go for you, Krabs
And you're feelin' alright

Sarah: Well you just walk out
And turn out the light

Department: And you don't bring me projects anymore

Mr. Krabs: It used to be so natural
To talk about crew issues
But "used to be's" don't count anymore
They just lay on the floor
'Til we sweep them away

Ms. Y: And Krabs-y, I remember
All the things you taught me

Kenny: I learned how to laugh
And I learned how to cry

J: Well I learned how to love
even learned how to fly

V: So you'd think I could learn
How to tell you goodbye

You don't say you need me

Department: You don't bring us projects anymore
Well you'd think we could learn
how to tell you 'goodbye'

You don't call for meetings

You don't bring us projects anymore...