Death becomes them...

Last week was a hard week for the birds... around my office building.  It is a sad, sorry state of affairs and our office area are the main ones that get to deal with it.  We have two trees outside our office windows and countless innocent bird victims smack into the mirrored window mid flight expecting to continue soaring on through the trees.  The mirrors aren't prejudiced against any bird... hummingbirds, sparrows, geese, they have all been mystified with their reflection and brought to an early death.  Upon impact I have Francesca run out and if she is able to bring them back we keep them in a box until they can fly off again.  Many do not come back. 

This week we met the Bohemian Wax Tip - a bird we have met before in the past.  The trees outside our office have berries on them that come out at the beginning of the winter.  Those berries have sat, and sat, and fermented - and the Wax Tips swallow ten or eleven of them whole at one sitting.  We discovered by researching the birds that they gorge themselves on these fermented berries and get drunk.  We think they are in the middle of their migration when they stop by our office.  Not soon after the gorging we had about five dead birds scattered along our sidewalk from flying into the building.  This is a photo of one of the innocent birds, brought to death by flying head first into the windows, you can see the remnant of the berries on both ends of his spectrum.

We have plastered post it notes along the first floor windows by our office and they have seemed to help stop the birds from flying into the windows.  We have not had any deaths since.  I can only hope we are able to continue to help the birds, it is a sad sight to see such beauty lay so still.

Stan's Lunch 2-17-11

Another wonderful delight from Stan.  I have been working hard on watching what I eat and working out so it was definitely a treat!  As you can see, the crowd has all gathered at the table for our Thursday lunch.

And the meal he catered for our lunch was breaded pork (center cut) topped with a dab of his special tomato sauce on top of a mozzarella layer on top of a ricotta layer... AKA YUM!  A spinach salad with eggs and onions and bacon and one of his special dressings that ROCKED!  It was a little bit tangy and a little bit sweet, a perfect combination!  He also brought two types of pasta that were in olive oil with sun dried tomatoes and bread topped with Parmesan cheese and olive oil.  Let me tell you, it was worth EVERY bite!
Thanks again Stan!  Everyone remember, he caters and can do something special for you too so leave a comment if you are interested!

The Days of Old

I have to admit that I have made some excellent friends at all the places I have worked over the years.  This little post is to highlight the genius of one of those friends in particular, Ms. Sandra.  I met her working for a wee lil company named LLOG, and it was fate that we met, from her birth date to her great sense of humor, she is AWESOME!

There was a great disturbance in the force and LLOG did not mesh well with me at that time in my life.  It was the only job I have ever been fired from, it was a horrible, horrible experience and I do not wish it on anyone.  Two things I have been able to take away from this experience are a great friend and knowing that money does not buy happiness. 

My friend/coworker Sandra caught me doing the death march down the hallway with my box of personal belongings, holding back tears in my eyes, and being escorted by Jabba herself to the elevator and off to the rest of my life. 

I don't know when it was that Sandra presented me with the following top 10 list, but I found it when cleaning out some files at home the other day.  It still makes me laugh once I figured out what it was and I hope she remembers too.

It went a little something like this.....

Top Ten Signs that You're Getting Fired from LLOG: (think Dave Letterman)

Keep in mind for each line there is a hidden joke that only the writer and I will ever get, one of those things that happens when you spend a good quanitity of time working with people.



Drumroll

10: They run out of invoices (I was in a division of Accounts Payable)

9: The door code has been changed and you can't get in.

8: You loan Anne Connell a VHS tape at 12:01, she gives it back at 12:02 stating "I may not see you later."

7: Heather Tollin gives you your Christmas present in July.

6: They start paying you in I.O.U.'s written on little scraps of kleenex.

5: Bob McMann flirts with Kem Ducote instead of you.

4: Carol Eaton keeps asking, "When do I meet the new receptionist?"

3: Harold Garic gives you the number to the suicide hotline.

2: Conversations at the water cooler are mainly with yourself.

And the #1 sign that you are getting fired from LLOG:

1: When you say "See you tomorrow", Kem Ducote laughs uncontrollably.

Good Times!  I wouldn't change a thing!

Thank you Sandra for still making me smile after all of these years.

Quote of the Day

Actually, it has been the quote of the week at work.  I was sitting in my desk the other day, minding my own business, checking emails, doing paperwork, etc.  Then a female co-worker from another department walks into the office to talk to Kenny.  It hit me as a shock and immediately caught my attention.  I didn't realize she was in there until she started talking to Kenny.  It turns out she is recently getting back into the dating game and has the opportunity to meet someone a few years younger than her.  She was obviously paranoid about this and wanted a guys opinion. 

So imagine the distraction it is when you are sitting in a somewhat quiet office, typing, shuffling papers, hearing the normal hum drum of events and then all of a sudden you hear a strange female voice say...

"Kenny, if you saw me in a bar, how old would you think I was?"

Of course, the conversation went on from there, and Kenny did a very good job to not step into that bear trap of a question.  Ha!  However, for the past few days whenever things get back to that same level of silence, key board clicking, etc.  I have to ask.... "Kenny, if you saw me in a bar, how old would you think I am?"

You don't bring me projects anymore.

It has been many long weeks closing out 2010 and bringing in 2011 at work.  It has also been a long hard journey downward for our industry in general and it isn't looking any better as the month tolls on...  During this time our boss, AKA Mr. Krabs (think spongebob), has been pretty much obsolete to our every day life.  This is the same man we confide in, look for advice from, and are in constant need of approval from for paperwork, forms, etc.  How we have missed him!  Every now and then I walk by his office and see his back (he is facing his computer) and his door is shut as to not suggest "Come in and talk with me!"  He is trying to cut out distractions so he can complete the various projects that have been put on his table.

Day after day I either view an empty office or the back of the man I once new and called my own Mr. Krabs!  Finally we couldn't take it anymore.  We started to bait him by leaving various chips or snacks on the conferance table in the middle of our office.  Slowly, but surely, he would advance from his office to grab said chip or snack and soon after the mass of peasants approached for conversation he would retreat back into his office to complete his spreadsheet of the day.  Our attempt to once again socialize Mr. Krabs had failed miserably.


Last week I decided a different approach.  When I grew up in the 80's I was a great fan of Barbara Streisand and Neil Diamond and the song they did together titled "You don't bring me flowers."  I am embedding a youtube of this song in this posting below so you can get familiar with the tune.  If you listen to it you can almost hear me singing in the background, off key, trying to keep up with Babs.... "Now after lovin' me late at nnnniiiiiggggghhhhhtttttttt!!!!!"  Ahhhhhhhhh, it's good stuff I tell you! 

Anyways, I decided to change the lyrics so it fit our work atmosphere and emailed it to Mr. Krabs (and the rest of the department) because I knew he was in his office facing his computer.  I put each one of us in the lyrics as the singer of that line, and used the entire department together for the Chorus.  I really wanted him to visualize what this would look like if we decided to enter the Karaoke contest at the family picnic.  Once I pressed send I ran to the window in his office door to watch him....  I saw the email notification pop up and distract him from his spreadsheet project.....  Then he clicked on it..... And then he read it.... the whole thing!  I think I saw tears in the man's eyes.... It went a little something like this......

Sarah: You don't bring me projects
You don't call for meetings

Francesca: You hardly talk to me anymore
When I come through the door
At the start of the day

Sarah: I remember when
You couldn't wait to blame me
Used to hate to praise me
Now after leavin’ work late at night

Francesca: When it's go for you, Krabs
And you're feelin' alright

Sarah: Well you just walk out
And turn out the light

Department: And you don't bring me projects anymore

Mr. Krabs: It used to be so natural
To talk about crew issues
But "used to be's" don't count anymore
They just lay on the floor
'Til we sweep them away

Ms. Y: And Krabs-y, I remember
All the things you taught me

Kenny: I learned how to laugh
And I learned how to cry

J: Well I learned how to love
even learned how to fly

V: So you'd think I could learn
How to tell you goodbye

You don't say you need me

Department: You don't bring us projects anymore
Well you'd think we could learn
how to tell you 'goodbye'

You don't call for meetings

You don't bring us projects anymore...