Based on the novel......
How did we get so lucky???
Thursday, March 17, 2011
Filming in Abita Alert!!!
Yes, we in Abita Springs, LA have become the proud members of an elite community across the world. The film community, who knew? So far this year we have seen the likes of Zac Efron in the Lucky One, Miley Cyrus (in I don't really care what), and now we are proud to have joining our community.....
This week in a flurry
This week I've lost my motivation to blog. Here I am on Thursday night deciding that I need to get something down on paper.... or computer screen.... whatevah!
Things I am working on this week for the overall wellness plan resolution:
I am following the meal plan on sparkpeople.com. It basically gives you a set up meal plan for the week. You can choose to follow this, or choose to hide it and go with your own food items. The custom diet I am on calls for three meals and two snacks. The three meals average about 400 calories and the snacks are somewhere around 200 calories a day. I noticed in just being aware of my eating on sparkpeople that I can easily chow down on about 1000 calories at lunch, especially if we go out for lunch.
My other goal I have set for the next 28 days is to be part of sparkpeoples 28 day boot camp challenge. You do a 10 minute strength training video every day - it's not complicated at all and works out different body parts every day, some take less than 10 minutes - and you commit to doing 30 minutes of cardio for 5 days of your week. You repeat these steps for four weeks.
Well, I know I can commit to getting my exercise. Thanks to the Wii 9 week challenge I have instilled in myself a nice little habit of waking up an hour earlier, working out, then getting to the showers and getting ready for work. With the boot camp challenge, I actually have time to loll around if I wake up an hour early after my work out. I only have to commit to the half hour of cardio and the video, maybe 50 minutes of work if I draw it out.
So far I have used the treadmill Taty sent over to me (thank you for the hand me down - I have wanted one of these for awhile), yes it is rickety, yes it is ancient, but it works and I can get a workout in the comfort of my home quick and easy. I have been doing interval training on the treadmill to keep me interested and am starting with a 22 minute beginner interval training on the treadmill based on an article from sparkpeople - yes, this website is FREE and a wealth of knowledge about the rat race of getting in shape and losing weight. To sum up the interval training, I do a warm up - two minutes brisk, 1 minute fast, two minutes slow, one minute fast as I can go, etc on for about 15 minutes, and then on to the cool down. I have also been following that up with a 10 minute yoga for flexibility and relaxation video. All in all it gets the job done and doesn't draw out my workout for an hour like the Wii Sports Active 2 did... not that it was a bad thing, just a bit of down time waiting for an exercise to load, etc. After I finish my workouts I scurry over to the kitchen and fix up my breakfast for the day according to the meal plan. I also pack up my lunch and snacks for the day at work.
So far things are going well with the meal plan. It isn't really expensive to buy groceries based on it, because you can swap out items you don't like for things you do and make it work with the items you had already bought. I spent about $150 to get started on it a week ago and have lots of groceries left (that $150 was based on a completely empty fridge and cabinets, now they are still stocked nicely after a week). I just have to make a small run for more meats - not necessary, but I like to keep the variety up - and some more produce. I am pretty much keeping up with the same grocery budget, just buying drastically different things. For instance, I had a great conversation with my meat man at Fresh Market the other day about only needing 4 oz of salmon and about the same in tilapia and pork tenderloin. He grumbled a bit about the salmon, said "I would like to meet that doctor", told me he couldn't cut the tilapia (no big deal I got one fillet) and I didn't even bother fussing with him about the pork tenderloin. I am making my dinner while my family eats there's, but TomTom wanted my salmon so I told him I would get enough for both of us next time. Go TomTom! I had never cooked salmon before and it turned out great. Then we had Tilapia, I had never cooked that before either, but he ate all of that too. Looks like he will be on board for my sparkpeople meals which makes life easier for me.
Some times I do get hungry, and some times I do feel like I am not eating any meat. I am getting my protein thru nuts and egg whites, not necessarily meat. I'm used to having meat with every meal, but lately... not so much. It is a difference and I notice it now and then, but I have also come to appreciate the sacrifice an animal makes for me to be able to eat its meat - something I have thought very little of in the past. I realized a lot about the whole process when I read the "Slaughter" chapter in the "Ravenous" book.
Some times it gets hard - today I had a piece of cake for Jessica's birthday at work. However, I didn't eat my other snack to help make up for it. Was it worth it? I think of all the watermelon and produce I could have eaten instead of that too thin piece of cake, but it was damn good. Tonight I wanted to give in because I was HUNGRY - why??? Went too long without eating because after work I went to TomTom's baseball evaluation. I was going to hang it up and go for ice cream since he had all A's on his report card. Fate intervened because the shop was closed that was on our way home.... but right across the street was Mamma D's... the best pizza ever... and I could smell that pizza... it had my name on it... a big ole greasy piece with pepperoni, italian sausage, black olives, onions, and jalapenos.... HEEEELLLLLOOOOOOO LOVER!!! I had a moment and breathed it in and told TomTom... what I would do for a piece of Mamma D's right now! He was of course up for it, but I told him I couldn't do it, I was trying to be good. I had set a goal for myself.... and I WALKED AWAY! I came home, hungrier than all hell, but I cut up my romaine lettuce, swapped the feta for some full fat sharp cheddar, skipped the light weight dressing and went for the full fat hidden valley ranch dip (I made the other day), needed meat... must have meat.... got a piece of the cooked pork tenderloin in the fridge... added walnuts, added sunflower seeds.... and Voila! Dinner! I changed up the meal plan because I was hungry, but not to far from the original, and I measured out everything into the portions that were called for in the meal plan. And it satisfied me. No, I wasn't so full and miserable that I couldn't move, but I was complete - no more hunger over the edge. I finished it up with oreo suprises for TomTom and I since the ice cream shop was closed.... fat free frozen chocolate yogurt (carefully portioned out for control) and three oreo cookies crumpled up, and all of it stirred together in a coffee mug. Yumalicious! I got him off and to bed after American Idol and did my cardio because I woke up too late this morning, ajnd that is just another day. I am often tempted to stray from my meal plan, but I am holding steady. I am often tempted by a huge hunger, but hold fast, and end up satisfied with the meal plan options.
Here is another example of weakness... I have been not feeling the best this week. Monday I went to the doctor because it sounded like I swallowed a frog I was so congested and stopped up. She gave me medicine and that awesome cough medicine with Hydrocodone. I didn't sleep at all Sunday night because I coughed all night long so I was ok with it. I came home early Monday, took the cough syrup and antibiotic - with my meal plan lunch - she told me to take it with food so I did - and about an hour later I was like WOOOO HOOOOO high and laid down in the bed. I don't think I got good sleep because I knew I had to pick up TomTom from my mom's. I went over there, made my meal plan dinner and brought TomTom home. I got him to bed, took my medicines again (because it was right after dinner and she said to take with food) and passed out.
The next morning I woke up, worked out to my video and cardio on the treadmill, then yoga. I made my meal plan breakfast and ate it beginning to feel a little woozy, but carried on with the morning routine. I got TomTom awake and into the bathroom to get ready for school. I was drinking my hot tea and watching the room swirl around me. I told him to scram... fast... MAKE WAY.... I knew I was going to throw up (this never happens to me unless it is late at night and I am drunk), but it happened... I threw up right then and there into the toilet... three times... gingerly thinking to myself how do I log that into sparkpeople?? Do I get calories back??????
I tried to persevere and continue on, TomTom was thoroughly grossed out. I showered, got ready for work, and got on the road. I was stopping here and there to catch my breath and steady myself. The drive was the worst. Getting him to school I thought I was going to hurl again, but knew I had nothing left in my stomach. I made it to drop him off then went right back to my drive way. I sat there a few minutes and decided to call the boss man. I told him what happened so far and that I was going in to set up crew changes, call the doctor, and I would update him later. He said he trusted me to know what I could or couldn't do and to take care of my work from home.
I called the doctor, hooked the computer up, set up crew changes, and next thing I know I was passed out. I woke up again around 3 PM when my mom called me. I think this was possibly a sign from my body self saying slow it down girl, you really are sick, and you need to heal. I got new medicine from the doctor that my mom was nice enough to pick up and bring to me. I hadn't eaten. I threw up my breakfast, part of last nights dinner, and slept through lunch. My mom was bringing TomTom to me so I didn't have to pick him up. I told her I was going to order pizza for us. Easy, simple, no prep, pizza. I thought about it for about a half hour. I decided to get up, cook the Tilapia - tater tots for him and salad with it for me, and be done with it. He was a bit upset he didn't get pizza, but I explained that I set a goal and pizza was the lazy way out. I didn't want to blow it with five pieces of pizza.
I am learning that it is just laziness that makes me go with the easier way out of food. Why get up and fix it when it can be delivered to your door ready to eat or picked up the same way????? But I did it... I moved past it. Not to mention, the night before when I came home with TomTom my medicine container was on the floor with NOTHING in it. Turns out the cats knocked it off the table and the dog ate it???? I freaked out at first thinking it was the blood pressure medicine but it turned out just to be the antibiotic, and 45 minutes later when I was on the phone with the pet poison people I started to find the blue pills scattered all over my house. I found 14 of the 19 and they decided it wasn't necessary to bring the animals in, just get the dog to puke by putting peroxide down his throat. So I did, and Forest did, and there were no pills in his stomach. I felt like crap. I felt like it was an evil plot by the cats. I felt horrible for what I did to Forest out of concern. Maybe it was karma that made me nauseous the next day and a throw up queen.
And that is where I am at now, still on the meal plan, and with all that drama exactly one week into it after my fast. That is another thing that gets me through my hunger.... I went three days without food, certainly I can handle another half hour.
This weekend is promising to be a great one because Nando and I are going to see Mamma Mia in Baton Rouge and then following it up with shopping. I also got a new hair cut and am going back to henna... sweet henna. I plan on doing that tomorrow night and will have to blog the process for shits and giggles.
That is this week in a nut shell! Toodalooo!
Things I am working on this week for the overall wellness plan resolution:
I am following the meal plan on sparkpeople.com. It basically gives you a set up meal plan for the week. You can choose to follow this, or choose to hide it and go with your own food items. The custom diet I am on calls for three meals and two snacks. The three meals average about 400 calories and the snacks are somewhere around 200 calories a day. I noticed in just being aware of my eating on sparkpeople that I can easily chow down on about 1000 calories at lunch, especially if we go out for lunch.
My other goal I have set for the next 28 days is to be part of sparkpeoples 28 day boot camp challenge. You do a 10 minute strength training video every day - it's not complicated at all and works out different body parts every day, some take less than 10 minutes - and you commit to doing 30 minutes of cardio for 5 days of your week. You repeat these steps for four weeks.
Well, I know I can commit to getting my exercise. Thanks to the Wii 9 week challenge I have instilled in myself a nice little habit of waking up an hour earlier, working out, then getting to the showers and getting ready for work. With the boot camp challenge, I actually have time to loll around if I wake up an hour early after my work out. I only have to commit to the half hour of cardio and the video, maybe 50 minutes of work if I draw it out.
So far I have used the treadmill Taty sent over to me (thank you for the hand me down - I have wanted one of these for awhile), yes it is rickety, yes it is ancient, but it works and I can get a workout in the comfort of my home quick and easy. I have been doing interval training on the treadmill to keep me interested and am starting with a 22 minute beginner interval training on the treadmill based on an article from sparkpeople - yes, this website is FREE and a wealth of knowledge about the rat race of getting in shape and losing weight. To sum up the interval training, I do a warm up - two minutes brisk, 1 minute fast, two minutes slow, one minute fast as I can go, etc on for about 15 minutes, and then on to the cool down. I have also been following that up with a 10 minute yoga for flexibility and relaxation video. All in all it gets the job done and doesn't draw out my workout for an hour like the Wii Sports Active 2 did... not that it was a bad thing, just a bit of down time waiting for an exercise to load, etc. After I finish my workouts I scurry over to the kitchen and fix up my breakfast for the day according to the meal plan. I also pack up my lunch and snacks for the day at work.
So far things are going well with the meal plan. It isn't really expensive to buy groceries based on it, because you can swap out items you don't like for things you do and make it work with the items you had already bought. I spent about $150 to get started on it a week ago and have lots of groceries left (that $150 was based on a completely empty fridge and cabinets, now they are still stocked nicely after a week). I just have to make a small run for more meats - not necessary, but I like to keep the variety up - and some more produce. I am pretty much keeping up with the same grocery budget, just buying drastically different things. For instance, I had a great conversation with my meat man at Fresh Market the other day about only needing 4 oz of salmon and about the same in tilapia and pork tenderloin. He grumbled a bit about the salmon, said "I would like to meet that doctor", told me he couldn't cut the tilapia (no big deal I got one fillet) and I didn't even bother fussing with him about the pork tenderloin. I am making my dinner while my family eats there's, but TomTom wanted my salmon so I told him I would get enough for both of us next time. Go TomTom! I had never cooked salmon before and it turned out great. Then we had Tilapia, I had never cooked that before either, but he ate all of that too. Looks like he will be on board for my sparkpeople meals which makes life easier for me.
Some times I do get hungry, and some times I do feel like I am not eating any meat. I am getting my protein thru nuts and egg whites, not necessarily meat. I'm used to having meat with every meal, but lately... not so much. It is a difference and I notice it now and then, but I have also come to appreciate the sacrifice an animal makes for me to be able to eat its meat - something I have thought very little of in the past. I realized a lot about the whole process when I read the "Slaughter" chapter in the "Ravenous" book.
Some times it gets hard - today I had a piece of cake for Jessica's birthday at work. However, I didn't eat my other snack to help make up for it. Was it worth it? I think of all the watermelon and produce I could have eaten instead of that too thin piece of cake, but it was damn good. Tonight I wanted to give in because I was HUNGRY - why??? Went too long without eating because after work I went to TomTom's baseball evaluation. I was going to hang it up and go for ice cream since he had all A's on his report card. Fate intervened because the shop was closed that was on our way home.... but right across the street was Mamma D's... the best pizza ever... and I could smell that pizza... it had my name on it... a big ole greasy piece with pepperoni, italian sausage, black olives, onions, and jalapenos.... HEEEELLLLLOOOOOOO LOVER!!! I had a moment and breathed it in and told TomTom... what I would do for a piece of Mamma D's right now! He was of course up for it, but I told him I couldn't do it, I was trying to be good. I had set a goal for myself.... and I WALKED AWAY! I came home, hungrier than all hell, but I cut up my romaine lettuce, swapped the feta for some full fat sharp cheddar, skipped the light weight dressing and went for the full fat hidden valley ranch dip (I made the other day), needed meat... must have meat.... got a piece of the cooked pork tenderloin in the fridge... added walnuts, added sunflower seeds.... and Voila! Dinner! I changed up the meal plan because I was hungry, but not to far from the original, and I measured out everything into the portions that were called for in the meal plan. And it satisfied me. No, I wasn't so full and miserable that I couldn't move, but I was complete - no more hunger over the edge. I finished it up with oreo suprises for TomTom and I since the ice cream shop was closed.... fat free frozen chocolate yogurt (carefully portioned out for control) and three oreo cookies crumpled up, and all of it stirred together in a coffee mug. Yumalicious! I got him off and to bed after American Idol and did my cardio because I woke up too late this morning, ajnd that is just another day. I am often tempted to stray from my meal plan, but I am holding steady. I am often tempted by a huge hunger, but hold fast, and end up satisfied with the meal plan options.
Here is another example of weakness... I have been not feeling the best this week. Monday I went to the doctor because it sounded like I swallowed a frog I was so congested and stopped up. She gave me medicine and that awesome cough medicine with Hydrocodone. I didn't sleep at all Sunday night because I coughed all night long so I was ok with it. I came home early Monday, took the cough syrup and antibiotic - with my meal plan lunch - she told me to take it with food so I did - and about an hour later I was like WOOOO HOOOOO high and laid down in the bed. I don't think I got good sleep because I knew I had to pick up TomTom from my mom's. I went over there, made my meal plan dinner and brought TomTom home. I got him to bed, took my medicines again (because it was right after dinner and she said to take with food) and passed out.
The next morning I woke up, worked out to my video and cardio on the treadmill, then yoga. I made my meal plan breakfast and ate it beginning to feel a little woozy, but carried on with the morning routine. I got TomTom awake and into the bathroom to get ready for school. I was drinking my hot tea and watching the room swirl around me. I told him to scram... fast... MAKE WAY.... I knew I was going to throw up (this never happens to me unless it is late at night and I am drunk), but it happened... I threw up right then and there into the toilet... three times... gingerly thinking to myself how do I log that into sparkpeople?? Do I get calories back??????
I tried to persevere and continue on, TomTom was thoroughly grossed out. I showered, got ready for work, and got on the road. I was stopping here and there to catch my breath and steady myself. The drive was the worst. Getting him to school I thought I was going to hurl again, but knew I had nothing left in my stomach. I made it to drop him off then went right back to my drive way. I sat there a few minutes and decided to call the boss man. I told him what happened so far and that I was going in to set up crew changes, call the doctor, and I would update him later. He said he trusted me to know what I could or couldn't do and to take care of my work from home.
I called the doctor, hooked the computer up, set up crew changes, and next thing I know I was passed out. I woke up again around 3 PM when my mom called me. I think this was possibly a sign from my body self saying slow it down girl, you really are sick, and you need to heal. I got new medicine from the doctor that my mom was nice enough to pick up and bring to me. I hadn't eaten. I threw up my breakfast, part of last nights dinner, and slept through lunch. My mom was bringing TomTom to me so I didn't have to pick him up. I told her I was going to order pizza for us. Easy, simple, no prep, pizza. I thought about it for about a half hour. I decided to get up, cook the Tilapia - tater tots for him and salad with it for me, and be done with it. He was a bit upset he didn't get pizza, but I explained that I set a goal and pizza was the lazy way out. I didn't want to blow it with five pieces of pizza.
I am learning that it is just laziness that makes me go with the easier way out of food. Why get up and fix it when it can be delivered to your door ready to eat or picked up the same way????? But I did it... I moved past it. Not to mention, the night before when I came home with TomTom my medicine container was on the floor with NOTHING in it. Turns out the cats knocked it off the table and the dog ate it???? I freaked out at first thinking it was the blood pressure medicine but it turned out just to be the antibiotic, and 45 minutes later when I was on the phone with the pet poison people I started to find the blue pills scattered all over my house. I found 14 of the 19 and they decided it wasn't necessary to bring the animals in, just get the dog to puke by putting peroxide down his throat. So I did, and Forest did, and there were no pills in his stomach. I felt like crap. I felt like it was an evil plot by the cats. I felt horrible for what I did to Forest out of concern. Maybe it was karma that made me nauseous the next day and a throw up queen.
And that is where I am at now, still on the meal plan, and with all that drama exactly one week into it after my fast. That is another thing that gets me through my hunger.... I went three days without food, certainly I can handle another half hour.
This weekend is promising to be a great one because Nando and I are going to see Mamma Mia in Baton Rouge and then following it up with shopping. I also got a new hair cut and am going back to henna... sweet henna. I plan on doing that tomorrow night and will have to blog the process for shits and giggles.
That is this week in a nut shell! Toodalooo!
Sunday, March 13, 2011
Top Secret About Mom
When I was cleaning out TomTom's room the other day I found a ton of random rocks all over the place and little notes labeled "Top Secret". I can't tell you how many rocks I threw away, and the places I found them were just as funny. They aren't special rocks, I kept the ones he got in Tennessee that were special in the pouch they came in, but these are random rocks from our front porch and driveway.
Most of the "Top Secret" notes I found I threw away and gave him a stack of note paper on his desk so he could start new ones. However, there was one I found that seriously touched my heart so I tucked it in my pocket for his return home. When he got here I asked him if I could keep it and he was ok with it. Now I am going to share it with you... It was a long rectangular piece of paper folded up into a little square and on the outside of the folding he wrote in pencil "Top Secret". When you unfolded it the paper reminded me of the kind you write a grocery list on, it was long with several lines down the page. In pencil the top line stated "About Mom."
"1. Sings in shower.
2. Dies her hair.
3. Very nice.
4. Likes Star Wars.
5. Is Cool.
6. Probably washes hair every night.
7."
I can honestly say I wished he had finished that list, but he has me pegged in the first 6 lines. Gosh I love that little critter!
Most of the "Top Secret" notes I found I threw away and gave him a stack of note paper on his desk so he could start new ones. However, there was one I found that seriously touched my heart so I tucked it in my pocket for his return home. When he got here I asked him if I could keep it and he was ok with it. Now I am going to share it with you... It was a long rectangular piece of paper folded up into a little square and on the outside of the folding he wrote in pencil "Top Secret". When you unfolded it the paper reminded me of the kind you write a grocery list on, it was long with several lines down the page. In pencil the top line stated "About Mom."
"1. Sings in shower.
2. Dies her hair.
3. Very nice.
4. Likes Star Wars.
5. Is Cool.
6. Probably washes hair every night.
7."
I can honestly say I wished he had finished that list, but he has me pegged in the first 6 lines. Gosh I love that little critter!
When TomTom's Away....
TomTom spent last week in Gatlinburg, TN with my parents. I stayed home and had some fun of my own. In the last days before his arrival back at home I decided to do a massive clean out of his room while he wans't looking. I am going to participate in a garage sale soon and I figured now is the time for out with the old and in with the new.
This is his room before the clean out. I had already moved his dresser into the closet because there just isn't enough room in there for all of his furniture. I had already strippe dhis bead and was washing the sheets and comforter.
To put the dresser in his closet I had to take the bottom shelf out of his closet. I'm not sure if I will regret that later, but everything seems to fit nicely in there. I also cleaned out all the clothing and shelves of things that no longer fit him for the garage sale. Here is a photo of the dresser in his closet after I took out the shelving.
And here is a photo of his room after the cleansing! Everything has a place and he can play with all his legos and Star Wars toys on the other side of the bed so that you don't have to jump over them as soon as you walk into his door. What did I learn from all of this?? Momma REALLY needs a life!
This is his room before the clean out. I had already moved his dresser into the closet because there just isn't enough room in there for all of his furniture. I had already strippe dhis bead and was washing the sheets and comforter.
To put the dresser in his closet I had to take the bottom shelf out of his closet. I'm not sure if I will regret that later, but everything seems to fit nicely in there. I also cleaned out all the clothing and shelves of things that no longer fit him for the garage sale. Here is a photo of the dresser in his closet after I took out the shelving.
Cat Nap
When I come home every day for lunch, this is the sight I see.
Two lazy kitties nappin' on green.
(Alice is on the left, Edward is on the right)
Ravenous Fast - Day 3
Day 3 and my throat feels like the sahara desert. I keep drinking water but my mouth continues to feel cotton mouthed and parched. I am continually having cravings. They are hard core spikes that are demanding my attention.
I read part of the book last night that dealt with the fast. She had a last meal, then fasted completely for two days and then had dinner the third day with her family. I am trying not to give in to it. I was planning on doing three days and then waking up to eat breakfast on the fourth day.
My cravings are trying to have me give in and eat tonight. I set out to do what the author did, three days. Around 10 pm tonight will be three days.
Maybe I can go with a fruit and veggie meal before bed? Or maybe I can skip it all together? We shall see...
The other side effect has been a low constant head ache. Nothing I can't handle, it is just there. Also, my eyes seem extra sensitive to the brightness of the sun. They also seem to still have spouts when they are not in focus. And over all that is a hard core lethargic exhaustion. I am so tired I just want to curl up and sleep through the rest of today. That is in no way possible.
The stress at work doesn't seem to help at all it makes me even more anxious. They have a catered lunch in there that I have to walk by. I know I can make it through lunch and the end of the work day. I will try my headphones. Pray God my headphones will take me to a happy place.
The head phones helped. I made it out of work and to the grocery to prepare for my meals tomorrow. I got everything cooked and ready, and then I did it. I decided to eat dinner. And it was delicious. It was worth every bite and I savored every bite. Now I am completely exhausted and am going to climb into my bed.
My throat feels scratchy and thick, don't know if I was starting to get sick due to the toxins in my body or if the coating of pollen on my car this morning is doing it. Oh well, the fast is done. I stayed strong and I am proud of myself. Now, back to sparkpeople.
I read part of the book last night that dealt with the fast. She had a last meal, then fasted completely for two days and then had dinner the third day with her family. I am trying not to give in to it. I was planning on doing three days and then waking up to eat breakfast on the fourth day.
My cravings are trying to have me give in and eat tonight. I set out to do what the author did, three days. Around 10 pm tonight will be three days.
Maybe I can go with a fruit and veggie meal before bed? Or maybe I can skip it all together? We shall see...
The other side effect has been a low constant head ache. Nothing I can't handle, it is just there. Also, my eyes seem extra sensitive to the brightness of the sun. They also seem to still have spouts when they are not in focus. And over all that is a hard core lethargic exhaustion. I am so tired I just want to curl up and sleep through the rest of today. That is in no way possible.
The stress at work doesn't seem to help at all it makes me even more anxious. They have a catered lunch in there that I have to walk by. I know I can make it through lunch and the end of the work day. I will try my headphones. Pray God my headphones will take me to a happy place.
The head phones helped. I made it out of work and to the grocery to prepare for my meals tomorrow. I got everything cooked and ready, and then I did it. I decided to eat dinner. And it was delicious. It was worth every bite and I savored every bite. Now I am completely exhausted and am going to climb into my bed.
My throat feels scratchy and thick, don't know if I was starting to get sick due to the toxins in my body or if the coating of pollen on my car this morning is doing it. Oh well, the fast is done. I stayed strong and I am proud of myself. Now, back to sparkpeople.
Thursday, March 10, 2011
Day 2 of fasting
Day two of the fast….
To say it is considerably harder today is an extreme understatement.
Lesson about myself - I googled everything I could possibly google or research on the internet or spark people about fasting. Why? I think it was so I could find an excuse, reason or justification to make my body self feel like it is ok to stop. I need approval from factual research so that I can back my case up and allow myself to stop. It is amazing the tricks my body self can come up with.
I am having a serious craving right now, for anything. I have been trying to map out my breakfast on spark people for Friday morning. I don't think it helped. The craving kind of takes over everything. It takes away my sanity and my eyes don't even focus. I went home for lunch today and occupied myself with replanting lettuce, doing laundry, and drinking my broth.
I made it thru lunch so I know I can get thru dinner when I am back home by myself. My mouth feels heavy and full of cotton, but I'm drinking my water like crazy and using the bathroom a lot.
The perks of the research - fasting can be really good for psoriasis and high blood pressure. There are even cases when after fasting the issues were no longer present in an individual.
However, this is a serious head trip, trying to avoid the thoughts that lead to food; I don't know if being at work helps or hinders it. I thought it would be a good distraction, but now I feel like the clock is dragging and I just want to get home where I can keep busy! I need to walk around a bit.
I wrote the above around 4 PM on day two. It is now 10 PM. After emailing the above entry, I got up from my desk and walked over to my friends’ desks. I told them what I was doing, I needed support, and I was on the verge of breaking - another lesson about my body self... I need justification from others to stay on the path that I am on. I knew they would be supportive and not joke with me about it and I got lots of great advice. Turns out, one of them had fasted five days recently and did not publicize it at all. Five days. WOW. This isn't easy for me at all and I am simply on day two. She gave me hope that I could definitely continue on with my journey.
Once I got home it was no sweat, I rearranged TomTom's room a bit since he is not home I figure I will give it a good clean out. I vacuumed the whole house since I had skimped on that this weekend with Mardi Gras. I took out and put in the dishes in the dishwasher and I did about another three loads of clothes. I also watched my favorite American Idol in the background while all of this was going on.
I can tell you that work was stressful, this added to the anxiety I was having earlier. Stupid things brought up by silly people, making mountains into mole hills, and all in all just the normal bullshit that I would rather get away from in everyday life. Why do people stress over things that they cannot control? Why must everything be an issue? And more importantly, if you did something to come alive for five seconds why should you feel guilty about it later and blame it on unprofessionalism? We really need to take more advice from children. All in all, it is not my issue to dwell on - so I am dropping it now. However, it was a crappy start to a return to work day from vacation.
Here I am. Sitting with my fast and all the crap in my head. Here is a gross little tidbit - I have a quarter size patch of psoriasis on the back of my scalp buried underneath all of my hair. No one knows it is even there except my immediate family. Today it pretty much all flaked off in a fit of fury. This is not normal. Usually it flakes a bit when I itch it, like dandruff type stuff, but not all of it just coming off in chunks. This makes me feel really optimistic about how this fast may help my psoriasis. Basically I won't have anything left in my system to irritate the condition. Interesting.
Lesson learned - I can really keep myself busy when I am avoiding something (like eating). I am turning out to be stronger and stronger than I thought with every craving for food. I am dreading having another 24 hours of this. I can't wait to eat again!!! These are the thoughts that I get lost in and I have to move on. I have prepared my meals for Friday and will be at the grocery store tomorrow night so that everything I need is on hand when I need it!!!!
Here is the meditation she did in the book on day two of her fast; you are supposed to say the first thing that comes to your mind. Below are my responses.
What demon do you want to work with?
Fear
Does it have a feeling?
It is a lingering sadness. It makes me want to curl up inside myself in the dark and fall away from everything.
Does it have a color?
If it has a color I can't see it. It wants to be hidden in the dark.
Does it have a texture?
It reminds me of a blanket. Something that can cover me up, but once it is over me it seems sharp and cutting, making it hard to breathe.
Where is it held in your body?
In the middle of my chest, it moves out into my throat and covering my lungs.
What does it look like now?
It is dark and unfriendly, but comforting because it is hiding me from seeing the outside. It is like a safe protective layer on the side I am under, but on the other side it is covering me and keeping me from my life.
What does the demon want?
He wants to keep me from pain; he wants to protect me from things that can hurt me.
What does it need?
It needs acceptance and unconditional love. It needs a support system, it needs belief that it can grow into something wonderful. It needs to know that the things it likes and wants in the outside world are okay to go after.
When its needs are met it will feel....
Free to live
Feed the demon sweet nourishing nectar with acceptance, unconditional love, and a support system that believes it can grow into something wonderful and supports its choices in life. How is the demon receiving it?
Timidly, the demon is shy and doesn't want to seem greedy, but it realizes that it is getting what it has wanted for a very long time so it cannot turn away. The demon is a lost child being beckoned out of a dark corner by a trail of bread crumbs. She peeks out so you can see her eyes, pale and lonely, she grabs a crumb and then ducks back in the darkness. She is still afraid, full of fear, but she wants to have the support to make her dreams come true.
Look for your ally - the figure that will help and protect you thru your demon journey. What is my ally's gift to my demon?
The gift is open arms for tears on a warm and welcoming lap rocking and rocking and rocking like my grandma used to do. A warm heart to talk to that does not laugh at my dreams or make me feel like they are not good enough. My ally talks about everything I am interested in and everything that I want to be in this life. She will hold my hand and help me mark out a path to achieve everything that I have wanted. And she will be there when I have fear again and want to duck behind the darkness. It may be safety on one side, but on the other it is a barrier from all the things that will light my path in this life. She will remind me that I can overcome the fear. She will give me the acceptance and warmth that I need when I become afraid, she will give me the strength and protection to go after everything I want in this life.
To say it is considerably harder today is an extreme understatement.
Lesson about myself - I googled everything I could possibly google or research on the internet or spark people about fasting. Why? I think it was so I could find an excuse, reason or justification to make my body self feel like it is ok to stop. I need approval from factual research so that I can back my case up and allow myself to stop. It is amazing the tricks my body self can come up with.
I am having a serious craving right now, for anything. I have been trying to map out my breakfast on spark people for Friday morning. I don't think it helped. The craving kind of takes over everything. It takes away my sanity and my eyes don't even focus. I went home for lunch today and occupied myself with replanting lettuce, doing laundry, and drinking my broth.
I made it thru lunch so I know I can get thru dinner when I am back home by myself. My mouth feels heavy and full of cotton, but I'm drinking my water like crazy and using the bathroom a lot.
The perks of the research - fasting can be really good for psoriasis and high blood pressure. There are even cases when after fasting the issues were no longer present in an individual.
However, this is a serious head trip, trying to avoid the thoughts that lead to food; I don't know if being at work helps or hinders it. I thought it would be a good distraction, but now I feel like the clock is dragging and I just want to get home where I can keep busy! I need to walk around a bit.
I wrote the above around 4 PM on day two. It is now 10 PM. After emailing the above entry, I got up from my desk and walked over to my friends’ desks. I told them what I was doing, I needed support, and I was on the verge of breaking - another lesson about my body self... I need justification from others to stay on the path that I am on. I knew they would be supportive and not joke with me about it and I got lots of great advice. Turns out, one of them had fasted five days recently and did not publicize it at all. Five days. WOW. This isn't easy for me at all and I am simply on day two. She gave me hope that I could definitely continue on with my journey.
Once I got home it was no sweat, I rearranged TomTom's room a bit since he is not home I figure I will give it a good clean out. I vacuumed the whole house since I had skimped on that this weekend with Mardi Gras. I took out and put in the dishes in the dishwasher and I did about another three loads of clothes. I also watched my favorite American Idol in the background while all of this was going on.
I can tell you that work was stressful, this added to the anxiety I was having earlier. Stupid things brought up by silly people, making mountains into mole hills, and all in all just the normal bullshit that I would rather get away from in everyday life. Why do people stress over things that they cannot control? Why must everything be an issue? And more importantly, if you did something to come alive for five seconds why should you feel guilty about it later and blame it on unprofessionalism? We really need to take more advice from children. All in all, it is not my issue to dwell on - so I am dropping it now. However, it was a crappy start to a return to work day from vacation.
Here I am. Sitting with my fast and all the crap in my head. Here is a gross little tidbit - I have a quarter size patch of psoriasis on the back of my scalp buried underneath all of my hair. No one knows it is even there except my immediate family. Today it pretty much all flaked off in a fit of fury. This is not normal. Usually it flakes a bit when I itch it, like dandruff type stuff, but not all of it just coming off in chunks. This makes me feel really optimistic about how this fast may help my psoriasis. Basically I won't have anything left in my system to irritate the condition. Interesting.
Lesson learned - I can really keep myself busy when I am avoiding something (like eating). I am turning out to be stronger and stronger than I thought with every craving for food. I am dreading having another 24 hours of this. I can't wait to eat again!!! These are the thoughts that I get lost in and I have to move on. I have prepared my meals for Friday and will be at the grocery store tomorrow night so that everything I need is on hand when I need it!!!!
Here is the meditation she did in the book on day two of her fast; you are supposed to say the first thing that comes to your mind. Below are my responses.
What demon do you want to work with?
Fear
Does it have a feeling?
It is a lingering sadness. It makes me want to curl up inside myself in the dark and fall away from everything.
Does it have a color?
If it has a color I can't see it. It wants to be hidden in the dark.
Does it have a texture?
It reminds me of a blanket. Something that can cover me up, but once it is over me it seems sharp and cutting, making it hard to breathe.
Where is it held in your body?
In the middle of my chest, it moves out into my throat and covering my lungs.
What does it look like now?
It is dark and unfriendly, but comforting because it is hiding me from seeing the outside. It is like a safe protective layer on the side I am under, but on the other side it is covering me and keeping me from my life.
What does the demon want?
He wants to keep me from pain; he wants to protect me from things that can hurt me.
What does it need?
It needs acceptance and unconditional love. It needs a support system, it needs belief that it can grow into something wonderful. It needs to know that the things it likes and wants in the outside world are okay to go after.
When its needs are met it will feel....
Free to live
Feed the demon sweet nourishing nectar with acceptance, unconditional love, and a support system that believes it can grow into something wonderful and supports its choices in life. How is the demon receiving it?
Timidly, the demon is shy and doesn't want to seem greedy, but it realizes that it is getting what it has wanted for a very long time so it cannot turn away. The demon is a lost child being beckoned out of a dark corner by a trail of bread crumbs. She peeks out so you can see her eyes, pale and lonely, she grabs a crumb and then ducks back in the darkness. She is still afraid, full of fear, but she wants to have the support to make her dreams come true.
Look for your ally - the figure that will help and protect you thru your demon journey. What is my ally's gift to my demon?
The gift is open arms for tears on a warm and welcoming lap rocking and rocking and rocking like my grandma used to do. A warm heart to talk to that does not laugh at my dreams or make me feel like they are not good enough. My ally talks about everything I am interested in and everything that I want to be in this life. She will hold my hand and help me mark out a path to achieve everything that I have wanted. And she will be there when I have fear again and want to duck behind the darkness. It may be safety on one side, but on the other it is a barrier from all the things that will light my path in this life. She will remind me that I can overcome the fear. She will give me the acceptance and warmth that I need when I become afraid, she will give me the strength and protection to go after everything I want in this life.
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