First Baseball Game 2011

This past Saturday was TomTom’s first baseball game… ever.  No more tee ball!!!!  His team is Abita’s version of the New York Mets.  Go METS!  Here he is throwing the ball at the pre-game practice.

And with his gear as we move from practice to the playing field.

  And here is the team all together.

The Cats Get Out

While TomTom was at First Communion practice on Sunday I let the cats explore the back yard again.  They made it to the vet for their first round of boosters so I was getting them ready for the outside world.  They had been out with us for a brief time before and are waiting by the door to get out again.  I was working in the yard and had the dog out there too.  I promised myself I wouldn’t get mad if they went in the garden and if the left the yard.  If they wanted to stay by the love and the food… they would.

They loved jumping onto the tree and hanging on for their lives while the other snuck up from behind and attacked them.  Edward was a bit more frisky and looked a bit more menacing when he was prowling around my lettuce plants.

He never once ate or bothered the lettuce plants so that was refreshing.  And here he is watching the birds and listening to the outside noises.

Alice was a bit more timid and stuck to the tomato garden.  I walked over to her saying she better not be sitting on any plants… and she wasn’t.  She had been very particular about how she was hiding in the tomatoes and was careful not to hurt any plants.  She got all kind of loving and praise for this one.

Lock Down – Day 3

This Saturday was crazy insane with our schedule.  TomTom started the morning with his check list, but we were out the door at 8 AM running late for his First Communion practice.  I left him at the church and returned to pick him up at 1130 AM.  Because he missed some details on his check list we returned home.  He had to complete them before we continued the mandatory things we had that day. 

When he was done we headed to my work picnic with exactly 50 minutes to get in and get out.  We grabbed some food for lunch.  I had notified my co-workers that he was punished and not to push him to go on the water slide, etc.  He was going to be chained to my side and that was the end of it.  Before we entered the front door I reminded him he could rack up points with the ma’ams and sirs and by responding to people that talked to him and not being shy.

As soon as we got in my boss’ boss greeted us and told him hello.  He was all over that with a response and a ma’am.  Points for TomTom… Points for Mom.  Then he ate right next to me.  He put some things in the trash for me.  I gave him a five minute hiatus so he could swing right behind me while I finished my crawfish.  His friend from school showed up at the picnic and I knew we would be leaving soon so I let them run around for what was just a few moments.  I said hello to a few people, went back to get TomTom and we were heading out the door.  A co-worker showed up and told him hello and he responded to her even though he was balancing on a rail and eating a cookie.  Points for TomTom.

Then we headed home to change into baseball gear.  He had his first baseball game of the season.  Real Baseball.  Not tee ball.  I made sure to continue the testing.  I corrected his negative behaviors as soon as they happened during his pregame practice.  I went over to the dug out as needed to congratulate him or give him pointers.  All went well.  He wasn’t perfect because of his excitement and reaction to the other boys who were misbehaving, but all in all no drama.

TomTom wanted to head home after the game and I was all for that.  We went home and after relaxing for a brief moment I reminded him of his negative points and to look at his check list for what he could earn points for in addition to his daily tasks.  He offered to vacuum.  I had to check over it and have him redo it a few times, but he got it done.  He offered to dust.  I again had to check over it and he redid some parts, but it got done.  He sorted laundry into colors.  I supervised him putting clothes into the washer, dryer, and taking it to my room and showing him how to fold and get things put away.  I steam cleaned the floor and he followed behind me with clean rags on his feet wiping up the steam water.  We were going at it with chores for about four hours and I gave him about a ten and twenty minute break every hour.

Then we went to my mom’s for dinner and he helped her serve the food and put dirty dishes into the sink.  We were both exhausted on the way home and agreed we would count up checks the next morning.

Lock Down – Day 2

TomTom woke up and got right on his check list.  He added making his bed to get an extra check.  He forgot a detail here and there when we reviewed the list on the way to school and I informed him when he got home he needed to complete the item to get the check mark. 

I also reminded him to respond to the teacher in car line for an easy check.  The teacher opened the door with a “Good Morning!”  TomTom said “Good Morning” and headed off to the cafeteria.  That sneaky teacher must have known what was going on because she snuck in a “Have a good day” when he was half way in between the car and the cafeteria.  I thought for sure it was a lost cause.  He turned his head back to us and said “Thank you.  You have a good day too.”  Well Lord Almighty!  I think both me and the teacher craned our neck back around to confirm that it was that little boy responding so politely.

After school he had baseball practice – the scene of the crime – I told him I would be testing him constantly and talking to him all through practice to maintain his check list.  My cousin showed up for practice either to confirm I wasn’t legally insane or to just be supportive after my batting cage mini drama.  I explained to him TomTom was on Lock Down, but didn’t give him the details.  He probably just added it to the crazy list as I wrote check marks on my hand every time TomTom hit 10 balls or made it to first base, etc. 

During the entire practice I stayed near TomTom and gave him pointers and corrected him for behaviors to see if he would react in a negative way.  Nothing.  No negative reaction.  He listened when I talked.  Overall, it was a good night at baseball practice. 

My cousin brought up at one point that there were 15 children on the team and the only name you were hearing was “Thomas.”  I cocked my neck back around to look at him with complete exasperation and asked “Am I not supposed to be correcting him?!”  He completely turned into a confused man.  He shrugged and his honesty came across when he said “I have no idea whatsoever.”  This made me realize he was just making a point.  He doesn’t have children of his own.  He actually has no idea whatsoever.  And you know what?  Neither do I.  I have no freaking clue.  I did feel confident that I am correcting behaviors with our check list system.  I have been given some affirmations from TomTom and know that the system I have created is currently working for us.  And I know that the only way you know about these things is through experience.  And the other parents on the field with me had no clue either as to how they would react if they were in my shoes.  But we all try the best we can to be the best parents possible, and that helps us develop into the people we are as parents.

I also made it a point to talk to the other mom who offered to help out with TomTom getting to practice when I started crying the other night.  I again thanked her for her kindness and told her that no one had ever offered anything like that to me.  I explained that I was completely overcome with how awesomely kind that was the other night, and on top of my son’s temper tantrum, well… I just apologized for crying.  She said she understood and she had been there before too – a typical mom response – and basically blew me off.  Probably, again, I had another fan thinking I was completely insane.  I wanted to make the point that I was grateful and point out how kind she was, and I think I got that point across to her.  It at least lifted the weight off of my shoulders and I went back to watching TomTom at practice.

Overall it was a good day.  The Ma’am’s are improving and he seems eager to earn his checks and get his toys back.  He has moments when he slips back into being a smart ass, but I get a bit loud and ask him who he thinks he is talking to and remind him of his current lock down state.  I have also realized how much of his past attitude I had enabled by allowing him to have an opinion or talk his way in or out of something.  I need to stop at NO.  And when he asks Why can’t he?  or goes on into a spiel about how it is unfair or whatever blah, blah, blah he comes at me with I need to shut it down immediately and resort back to the NO.  And when he disrespects any adult, including my parents, they also need to shut it down immediately.  I’ve caught him start it around my parents and I have to raise my voice to accent my seriousness and remind him that he is the child and his response is yes or no ma’am or sir and that is the end of it. 

Batting Cages

It was day one of TomTom’s lock down and because he did not perform very well at baseball practice, and it was an attempt for him to get energy out, and earn checks, I took him to the batting cages Thursday night.  My cousin went out to meet us to give us some “Man” pointers on baseball.  It was a rainy night, or it wanted to rain, but never quite got there.  I called the park ahead to make sure they were open and they confirmed that it wasn’t raining at the park. 

We arrived and the batting cages were jam packed with the park teams practicing.  I asked the high school guys working at the office if we could bat with everything going on and they said if a cage was open we could just jump in and bat.  I cashed in a $10 bill and settled down with the idea that this might take more than 10 minutes.  TomTom and his cousin were practicing batting in the field with a rock and his bat.  As I sat and waited on the benches I heard the conversations around me about the batting cages being over booked.  I then asked one of the coaches that was holding up a batting cage with no one in it if we could jump in and bat.  He told me it was set up for soft ball, not baseball.  He kept repeating this, over and over.  Who gives a crap?  Can my child bat or not???

A light clicked on in my head and I realized that maybe they couldn’t say “No, you can’t bat” because it was a public area even though it was obviously over booked.  I got pissed.  TomTom had waited in line at that point and I had him and my cousin as a captive audience as I went back over to the high school boy in charge of this operation.  I asked again for the third time, actually the fourth if you include the initial phone call to the park, is my child going to be able to bat tonight?  I once again got the response that if a cage was open we could use it.  I pressed harder as a pissed off mom does – A cage was open, but I was told it was not set up for baseball.  What is the chance of a cage opening up – for baseball – that we can bat in?  Then he proceeded to tell me that they were booked up with team practices until 830 PM that night, but if a cage was open we could go in.  Then I got nasty. 

What exactly is the chance of a cage opening and us getting in little boy???? Ok. Maybe I didn’t say “little boy” out loud, but I could tell my cousin was getting weirded out because I was getting pissy with the poor innocent high school boy.  At this point he admitted it was slim to none. AFTER ASKING YOU, WAITING IN LINE,  AND ASKING THE COACH, THE THIRD TIME I ASK YOU ARE GOING TO TELL ME WE CAN’T???????????  Why didn’t you just say that the first time and I would have left without getting pissy with you?  Then I looked at my hand full of tokens and looked at him with much anger and asked if I could get my cash back?   He then told me he didn’t handle cash and there was no way for me to get my money back.  I grumbled and informed him that if they would give out this information when people called to check and see if the batting cages were open and available it would save us all a lot of time and aggravation. 

My cousin was weirded out because of my mini drama.  TomTom was sent packing into the car.  My cousin was trying to make it better because he could see I was pissed, but we wasted about 30 minutes dealing with crappy information and it was time for us to go home and get dinner and get to bed.

On my ride home, for the first time in my life since having a child and no longer using recreational drugs, I considered the fact that maybe I needed to ask the doctor about valium or something to calm my nerves for the current condition of my life and the way I was reacting to things with the watery eye bullshit.  That thought got lost amongst many others in the first mile of my drive home and reflecting back on the moment now I think I was maybe just having a really bad couple of weeks.

Lock Down – Day One

It was Thursday morning of last week and I woke up and explained the system to TomTom from one end to another.  He had already woken up and brushed his teeth before I explained it to him so I figured I would test him on his lying about completing a task.  I asked him if he brushed his teeth for one minute and used his mouth wash – again, I knew he didn’t but was testing him – he said he did.  I asked him if he was sure about this and reminded him that lying was worth 80 checks.  He continued to insist he did.  Well, that was a lie.  I explained to him how I knew it was a lie because he hadn’t seen the checklist when he brushed his teeth.  I witnessed him brush his teeth in my bathroom and it took him about 20 seconds from start to finish and there was no mouth wash involved – he made it to (–80) checks at that point.

He also wore his robe outside to let the dog out.  I HATE when he does this.  He goes outside in his underwear and a robe because he sees my old lady neighbor in her robe and thinks it is ok.  I feel it is an open invitation for a Chester-the-molester and have repeatedly asked him to put on his uniform before he lets the dog out.  Because he wore his robe outside he didn’t get credit for letting the dog out.  Yes, I was being strict about the checks, but the “I wish I could stab you” was still fresh in my memory.

There were two other things that I had checked on and he did not complete, however he was telling me he did complete them.  Because he lied he made it to (–240) at that point and I asked him if he thought he was going to lie again.  I got a head movement from side to side and a “nah-uh”.  I held my hand up to my ear and asked “What was that?”  After getting his sound version of “no” and repeating my “What was that?” question, he finally got the point and said “No ma’am.” 

In the car on the way to school we went over the bonus check list.  Things he could put effort into to gain checks that took minimal effort.  One of my pet peeves is when the teachers open the car door for him they say “Good Morning” and I usually respond as TomTom wanders off to the cafeteria without acknowledging them.  I reminded him if he responded to the teacher with a “Good Morning” and “Thank you and you have a good day too” he could easily earn a check.  Low and behold when he opened the door and the teacher said good morning I heard him say loud and clear “Good Morning” as he walked off to the cafeteria.  Hallelujah!  This might actually work!

There were a few other instances on day one when he wanted to give me some explanation or excuse as to why he did or did not do something the way it was listed on the check list.  I ignored his talking and reminded him that he was punished.  He had no opinion.  The only response he was allowed was yes or no ma’am to me and action when I spoke to him. 

I also explained to my parents what happened so they would follow through with the punishment when he got off the bus at their house.  There was no TV, no computer, just homework and then they would drop him off at my house.  If for any reason my father (who enables TomTom to do whatever he wants) had an issue with the punishment, my mother was to pack TomTom up in her car and bring him directly to me.  Neither one of them had an issue with it when I explained to them what happened at baseball practice.

By the end of this day we were both tired.  He was in his bed and I told him to call for me when he was ready to be tucked in.  20 minutes later I went into his room and he was writing a note.  I told him he did not listen to my request so I subtracted 10 more checks.  He said he didn’t hear me – which was bull crap – and told him if he had any questions in the future about what he should be doing he simply needs to ask me.

End of the  day tally – he was at (–250).  He completed about 25 items on the check list.

Final total = (–225).

TomTom Lock Down

After his temper tantrum the other day I came up with this system I now call “The Lock Down”.  I made up two page of check lists.  The first page is chores or things that TomTom completes on a daily basis that he can earn a check mark for completing.  The second page is a bonus page of things out of the normal daily routine that TomTom can earn a check for completing. 

TomTom has had a pretty easy life this far.  My agreement with him was that as long as he made A’s and B’s on his report card he didn’t have to do many chores around the house.  Occasionally clean his room and pick up his things, but most of the time I cleaned up after him.  That method obviously was no longer working.  His mouth and his attitude and his anger had gotten out of control.  He disrespects pretty much everyone when he is in a bad mood from me to his grand parents to any one else that happens to be around him when he wants to lash out.  The baseball practice temper tantrum was the last straw and the moment when I realized that if it got any worse than telling me “he wished he could stab me” that it would only be my fault.  The child is seven years old.  By saying “he wishes he could stab me”, and on top of that saying it in front of other parents and teammates, he had crossed one too many lines.

I started out with a checklist print out from my printer.  It is a 8 1/2 x 11 landscape print out with three columns of lines and check boxes next to them.  There are 15 check boxes on each column for a total of 45 check boxes per page.  There are two pages of items he can check off.  I stared at the blank pages for a what seemed like forever.  I started filling in things that TomTom already does on a daily basis and adding to them so that he would do the things completely and not half-ass anymore.  Then when I was all out of those ideas I searched online for some chores that 7 to 8 year olds were capable of around the house.  Well, needless to say, I was amazed at what a 7/8 year old could do that mine was not doing – these things came from chore lists, home school lists, and other charts from different families and groups.

Please note this is my personal method that I have created and have no proof at this point of its effectiveness.  I figure it would adapt itself as needed as we continue with TomTom’s current Lock Down status.

On a separate piece of paper in big blue sharpie I wrote the rules of the checklist and posted them on the refrigerator in case he had any questions in the future.  The rules for the check lists are as follows:

1) Complete 80 checks and he earns one garbage bag of toys back.  It is Mom’s choice what bag he receives back.

2) Lie about completing a task and 80 checks are subtracted from your total *MOM WILL CHECK*

3) Throw a fit or have a temper tantrum and all checks for that day are erased.

4) Do a task incomplete and check it off anyway = subtract 20 checks

5) Ask for something special to do or buy before you earn your toy bags back  = subtract 10 checks

The check lists were then posted and I made several copies of them.  If he does his normal daily routine he could earn approximately 30 checks.  I did that on purpose so it wouldn’t seem like an unreachable goal that he would lose interest in and just stop working for the toy bags.  I have a child who can be completely content with books, pencils, and paper.  I had to manipulate my system to work for him.  This way he could see that in about three days of moderate effort he could earn the toys back.  However, if he pushed for it and completed more than his normal daily tasks, he could earn the toys back sooner.

There are the items on his daily checklist:

Things he does most days anyways, each being worth one check:

Put dog outside, feed dog in his bowl, wash out dog’s water bowl in sink, put clean water in bowl, hang dog leash up, take 1 each gummy vitamins, take 1 singulair, put pj’s in dirty clothes bin, brush teeth 1 minute with morning toothpaste and mouth wash, put away tooth brush & tooth paste, wash face in morning, remind mom about zyrtec in the morning, put snack in school bag, complete ALL homework, hang rag up in shower, hang up towel, hang up robe, put dirty day time clothes in laundry bin, turn clothes & socks right side out before putting in dirty clothes bin, turn undies inside out before putting in dirty clothes bin, brush teeth 1 minute with night time toothpaste & mouth wash, put away tooth brush & paste, wash face at night, put allergy lotion on at night, read AR book, take AR test, get 100% on AR test.

Like I said, the above tasks he already did in a day, but didn’t do them to the standard I would like so I tweaked them into a step by step process where he would earn checks for them.  With the above alone he would earn 28 checks.  Then I added some of “Mom’s wish list” items that I wouldn’t mind his help with, these things were also listed on the chores that 7/8 year olds can help with when I researched on the internet:

Clean off desk in room, clean off floor of room, make bed in morning, help with laundry, help with dishes, help clean kitchen table, help vacuum den, be nice to mom when she tries to help at baseball, do addition flash cards, do subtraction flash cards, complete a task the first time you are asked, get an A on a test at school, make it to first base at baseball, hit 10 balls at batting cage, have good attitude at baseball, have good attitude at cub scouts, behave at cub scouts, help at grocery store and put the groceries away.

Being that this is a mom’s wish list, not too many of the above items get done in a day.  They basically are for when he wants to show effort and do extra things to earn his toys back. 

I also added a Bonus Checklist for things that he can help with according to the internet research that I knew he wouldn’t have time to normally complete in a day.  However, if he wanted to push forward and find something to do he would have the things to reference on the check list:

Help Nana with something, Help Pawpaw with something, take time out to control emotions, be in bed by 7 PM, take bath by 630 PM, say “yes or no ma’am” or “yes or no sir” to an adult other than immediate family (the goal of this one is that it is expected with his immediate family not check worthy), say good morning and respond to the teacher that opens the door in car line.  The next items on this list are categorized under ASK MOM BEFORE DOING: bring in the mail, bring garbage can to carport, dust furniture, take out trash, bring home 100% correct work sheets from daily school work, sweep outside areas, wipe bathroom sink area, set laundry into color piles, clean out inside of car, clean TV area, clean piano area, clean cubbies by sofa, put sofa blankets in washer, put sofa blankets in dryer, clean up you things out of mom’s room, wipe down baseboards in hall, den, bedroom, bathroom, kitchen, mop & vacuum your bathroom, clean your shower, clean your toilet.