TomTom Lock Down

After his temper tantrum the other day I came up with this system I now call “The Lock Down”.  I made up two page of check lists.  The first page is chores or things that TomTom completes on a daily basis that he can earn a check mark for completing.  The second page is a bonus page of things out of the normal daily routine that TomTom can earn a check for completing. 

TomTom has had a pretty easy life this far.  My agreement with him was that as long as he made A’s and B’s on his report card he didn’t have to do many chores around the house.  Occasionally clean his room and pick up his things, but most of the time I cleaned up after him.  That method obviously was no longer working.  His mouth and his attitude and his anger had gotten out of control.  He disrespects pretty much everyone when he is in a bad mood from me to his grand parents to any one else that happens to be around him when he wants to lash out.  The baseball practice temper tantrum was the last straw and the moment when I realized that if it got any worse than telling me “he wished he could stab me” that it would only be my fault.  The child is seven years old.  By saying “he wishes he could stab me”, and on top of that saying it in front of other parents and teammates, he had crossed one too many lines.

I started out with a checklist print out from my printer.  It is a 8 1/2 x 11 landscape print out with three columns of lines and check boxes next to them.  There are 15 check boxes on each column for a total of 45 check boxes per page.  There are two pages of items he can check off.  I stared at the blank pages for a what seemed like forever.  I started filling in things that TomTom already does on a daily basis and adding to them so that he would do the things completely and not half-ass anymore.  Then when I was all out of those ideas I searched online for some chores that 7 to 8 year olds were capable of around the house.  Well, needless to say, I was amazed at what a 7/8 year old could do that mine was not doing – these things came from chore lists, home school lists, and other charts from different families and groups.

Please note this is my personal method that I have created and have no proof at this point of its effectiveness.  I figure it would adapt itself as needed as we continue with TomTom’s current Lock Down status.

On a separate piece of paper in big blue sharpie I wrote the rules of the checklist and posted them on the refrigerator in case he had any questions in the future.  The rules for the check lists are as follows:

1) Complete 80 checks and he earns one garbage bag of toys back.  It is Mom’s choice what bag he receives back.

2) Lie about completing a task and 80 checks are subtracted from your total *MOM WILL CHECK*

3) Throw a fit or have a temper tantrum and all checks for that day are erased.

4) Do a task incomplete and check it off anyway = subtract 20 checks

5) Ask for something special to do or buy before you earn your toy bags back  = subtract 10 checks

The check lists were then posted and I made several copies of them.  If he does his normal daily routine he could earn approximately 30 checks.  I did that on purpose so it wouldn’t seem like an unreachable goal that he would lose interest in and just stop working for the toy bags.  I have a child who can be completely content with books, pencils, and paper.  I had to manipulate my system to work for him.  This way he could see that in about three days of moderate effort he could earn the toys back.  However, if he pushed for it and completed more than his normal daily tasks, he could earn the toys back sooner.

There are the items on his daily checklist:

Things he does most days anyways, each being worth one check:

Put dog outside, feed dog in his bowl, wash out dog’s water bowl in sink, put clean water in bowl, hang dog leash up, take 1 each gummy vitamins, take 1 singulair, put pj’s in dirty clothes bin, brush teeth 1 minute with morning toothpaste and mouth wash, put away tooth brush & tooth paste, wash face in morning, remind mom about zyrtec in the morning, put snack in school bag, complete ALL homework, hang rag up in shower, hang up towel, hang up robe, put dirty day time clothes in laundry bin, turn clothes & socks right side out before putting in dirty clothes bin, turn undies inside out before putting in dirty clothes bin, brush teeth 1 minute with night time toothpaste & mouth wash, put away tooth brush & paste, wash face at night, put allergy lotion on at night, read AR book, take AR test, get 100% on AR test.

Like I said, the above tasks he already did in a day, but didn’t do them to the standard I would like so I tweaked them into a step by step process where he would earn checks for them.  With the above alone he would earn 28 checks.  Then I added some of “Mom’s wish list” items that I wouldn’t mind his help with, these things were also listed on the chores that 7/8 year olds can help with when I researched on the internet:

Clean off desk in room, clean off floor of room, make bed in morning, help with laundry, help with dishes, help clean kitchen table, help vacuum den, be nice to mom when she tries to help at baseball, do addition flash cards, do subtraction flash cards, complete a task the first time you are asked, get an A on a test at school, make it to first base at baseball, hit 10 balls at batting cage, have good attitude at baseball, have good attitude at cub scouts, behave at cub scouts, help at grocery store and put the groceries away.

Being that this is a mom’s wish list, not too many of the above items get done in a day.  They basically are for when he wants to show effort and do extra things to earn his toys back. 

I also added a Bonus Checklist for things that he can help with according to the internet research that I knew he wouldn’t have time to normally complete in a day.  However, if he wanted to push forward and find something to do he would have the things to reference on the check list:

Help Nana with something, Help Pawpaw with something, take time out to control emotions, be in bed by 7 PM, take bath by 630 PM, say “yes or no ma’am” or “yes or no sir” to an adult other than immediate family (the goal of this one is that it is expected with his immediate family not check worthy), say good morning and respond to the teacher that opens the door in car line.  The next items on this list are categorized under ASK MOM BEFORE DOING: bring in the mail, bring garbage can to carport, dust furniture, take out trash, bring home 100% correct work sheets from daily school work, sweep outside areas, wipe bathroom sink area, set laundry into color piles, clean out inside of car, clean TV area, clean piano area, clean cubbies by sofa, put sofa blankets in washer, put sofa blankets in dryer, clean up you things out of mom’s room, wipe down baseboards in hall, den, bedroom, bathroom, kitchen, mop & vacuum your bathroom, clean your shower, clean your toilet.