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Tuesday, April 19, 2011

Lock Down – Day 2

TomTom woke up and got right on his check list.  He added making his bed to get an extra check.  He forgot a detail here and there when we reviewed the list on the way to school and I informed him when he got home he needed to complete the item to get the check mark. 

I also reminded him to respond to the teacher in car line for an easy check.  The teacher opened the door with a “Good Morning!”  TomTom said “Good Morning” and headed off to the cafeteria.  That sneaky teacher must have known what was going on because she snuck in a “Have a good day” when he was half way in between the car and the cafeteria.  I thought for sure it was a lost cause.  He turned his head back to us and said “Thank you.  You have a good day too.”  Well Lord Almighty!  I think both me and the teacher craned our neck back around to confirm that it was that little boy responding so politely.

After school he had baseball practice – the scene of the crime – I told him I would be testing him constantly and talking to him all through practice to maintain his check list.  My cousin showed up for practice either to confirm I wasn’t legally insane or to just be supportive after my batting cage mini drama.  I explained to him TomTom was on Lock Down, but didn’t give him the details.  He probably just added it to the crazy list as I wrote check marks on my hand every time TomTom hit 10 balls or made it to first base, etc. 

During the entire practice I stayed near TomTom and gave him pointers and corrected him for behaviors to see if he would react in a negative way.  Nothing.  No negative reaction.  He listened when I talked.  Overall, it was a good night at baseball practice. 

My cousin brought up at one point that there were 15 children on the team and the only name you were hearing was “Thomas.”  I cocked my neck back around to look at him with complete exasperation and asked “Am I not supposed to be correcting him?!”  He completely turned into a confused man.  He shrugged and his honesty came across when he said “I have no idea whatsoever.”  This made me realize he was just making a point.  He doesn’t have children of his own.  He actually has no idea whatsoever.  And you know what?  Neither do I.  I have no freaking clue.  I did feel confident that I am correcting behaviors with our check list system.  I have been given some affirmations from TomTom and know that the system I have created is currently working for us.  And I know that the only way you know about these things is through experience.  And the other parents on the field with me had no clue either as to how they would react if they were in my shoes.  But we all try the best we can to be the best parents possible, and that helps us develop into the people we are as parents.

I also made it a point to talk to the other mom who offered to help out with TomTom getting to practice when I started crying the other night.  I again thanked her for her kindness and told her that no one had ever offered anything like that to me.  I explained that I was completely overcome with how awesomely kind that was the other night, and on top of my son’s temper tantrum, well… I just apologized for crying.  She said she understood and she had been there before too – a typical mom response – and basically blew me off.  Probably, again, I had another fan thinking I was completely insane.  I wanted to make the point that I was grateful and point out how kind she was, and I think I got that point across to her.  It at least lifted the weight off of my shoulders and I went back to watching TomTom at practice.

Overall it was a good day.  The Ma’am’s are improving and he seems eager to earn his checks and get his toys back.  He has moments when he slips back into being a smart ass, but I get a bit loud and ask him who he thinks he is talking to and remind him of his current lock down state.  I have also realized how much of his past attitude I had enabled by allowing him to have an opinion or talk his way in or out of something.  I need to stop at NO.  And when he asks Why can’t he?  or goes on into a spiel about how it is unfair or whatever blah, blah, blah he comes at me with I need to shut it down immediately and resort back to the NO.  And when he disrespects any adult, including my parents, they also need to shut it down immediately.  I’ve caught him start it around my parents and I have to raise my voice to accent my seriousness and remind him that he is the child and his response is yes or no ma’am or sir and that is the end of it. 

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