Goals, revisited.

Lately 11 Pm is the regular time I’ve been falling asleep – or later.  I haven’t been working out, which is getting to me because I feel like I’m not hitting my goals and I’m pretty sure I have gained back the seven pounds I lost.  Right now I just feel like I need a big ole break.

Another one of my goals is to plan a weekend with TomTom.  We have a long weekend coming up, which is Easter, and I would like to go out of town with just me and him.  I was thinking about going to Orange Beach but the prices are getting higher and higher and I am trying to get my mom to book her time share which is a big discount on the price.  Then I talk to her and when she has something important to say she demands my attention and I have to listen, but when I have my turn to talk she starts with the “uh huhs”  and “okays'” before I even finish a sentence because she is ready to hang up the phone.  It is just frustrating and on top of the week I had, honestly, I’m tired… I’m past that point – I’m exhausted… and I’m emotional.

I had recently set some goals for myself based on sparkpeople.com’s book, “The Spark”.  I have them written down to share, broken up into short term, medium goals, long term goals.  I’m trying to do the many things associated with that - I bought planner pages to keep up with everything to help with meal planning, exercise and logging who, what, when, and where.  It is a start even though I haven’t logged in my meals or exercise in about a week and a half.  It’s just so much right now, and I know it’s not going to last forever, but I do need some sort of mantra to get me through the rough times.  I need something to say like I did when I was on TomTom’s bed Tuesday night waiting for him to actually wash his face.  This type of thing is another part of these goals.  It is to be used when I get overwhelmed and I can just say it to myself to remember what is actually important.  One of the things that came to my mind immediately when I had the moment was… I can do this!  My back might be hurting from shoveling mud all weekend (Thanks Dad!)  I might be physically exhausted with five more things waiting for my attention before I am done with this, but I can do this.  I can be here in this moment and I can get the next thing done that I need to get done.  I can do it without getting upset at the little obstacles that want to show themselves along the way.  I can do it without the emotion if I just let go, if I just let go and I float in the moment.  I have to let it be... let it go… let it be and let it go. 

Or something along those lines.  It’s a start at least.